Last week, talking with a nurse and another physician about one of my patients with a life-threatening surgical problem, my signal died no fewer than five times...in the middle of a 1.4 million-person city...with full "bars" of reception. After calling Cingular to complain (ironically I got the three ominous beeps of signal death while on the phone with the service rep), they agreed to investigate. My phone conversation with my friendly Cingular Wireless rep yesterday went like this:

CW: "Our investigation shows that the wireless service in San Antonio has no problems; so it must be your Nokia 1100 phone, which is definitely one of the low-end Nokias."

JA: "So you sold me this phone at your store for your network, and now you say it's at fault for my dropped calls? Are you going to replace it?"

CW: "Well, no sir, but you could purchase another phone, or...we have some free phones available with a new contract."

JA: [Guffaw of disgust]

CW: "I mean, I'm not saying a call couldn't have been dropped...I've had calls dropped myself, like if the tower is overloaded with calls, but an independent organization said we have the best wireless service with fewest dropped calls, see?"

JA: "Well, thanks for...whatever."

CW: [Hangs up on me in mid-sentence]

It actually appears that this happens regularly with Cingular, the company with "Fewest Dropped Calls," "Raising the Bar," and all those cute commercials with "more bars" of reception. The "independent organization", Telephia, which did the survey showing fewest dropped calls, can't really elaborate on its methods of statistical analysis, as opposed to Consumer Reports, which slammed Cingular for its poor service and dropped calls...not to mention its poor customer service, which I just encountered.

Cricket, anyone?